The UK was put on Lockdown yesterday. Unless you’re getting essential food shopping, medicine or you’re a key worker, you should not be leaving your house. One trip outside for some exercise is allowed but you must be by yourself or with immediate family.
I find the expression ‘My Anxiety’ odd, I don’t really like to take ownership of the situation. Possibly because it’s only been in recent years, when the world has become more open to discussing mental health that i’ve recognised these worries as anxiety, perhaps my reluctance to call it ‘mine’ is part of a problem and maybe i’m in denial but I’m always of the opinion that I have periods of increased anxiety but it’s not a constant concern.
About two weeks ago, as the UK began to take more notice of the COVID-19 situation, as our numbers of cases increased and as we watched other countries go into lock down, I began to worry. I take the underground twice a day to work and I also get a bus. I work for a huge company where the office houses thousands of people on a daily basis and I have a family member with a respiratory condition, so my concern was mostly around catching the virus and passing it on.
As information on the Pandemic has become more frequent and as the situation has become more serious, my worries have increased too. Whilst one family member self-isolates, the other is a Nurse, training students how to handle the virus. At what point is she called to the front line and how, if she gets the virus, will it affect her?
I know there’s some excellent advice out there, I know influencers are doing their absolute best to provide entertainment and help people through the days and I know everyone is trying to give each other ideas to keep busy and stay positive but I hope those out there who experience anxiety are remembering that it is totally and completely ok to feel really overwhelmed at the moment. The world feels like it’s ending and there are people you care about who might be affected by the virus, we’re starting to fear being near anyone and despite the beautiful weather, you might be scared to go outside.
Since the Lockdown was initiated last night i’ve felt really anxious. I cried a bit because i’m worried about my family and today i’ve felt very flat and low. I don’t want to play music or watch comedy shows, I don’t want to talk about COVID-19 with my colleagues. I just want to sit and be.
I think it’s important to acknowledge these feelings, rather than distract yourself entirely and pretend they don’t exist. If all you can do today is get out of bed to make a cup of tea, then I think you should congratulate yourself on the effort.
This isn’t advice; i’ve never been to therapy, I’ve never spoken to a professional and I’ve never taken any particular measures to control something that I think i’m well aware of and able to manage. This morning I just found the patronising repetition of social media influencers advising me to to turn off the news and and organise my wardrobe tiresome.
Don’t do anything if you don’t want to today, It’s ok.