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It’s Overwhelming, Isn’t It?

March 24, 2020 | by thesundaystories

The UK was put on Lockdown yesterday.  Unless you’re getting essential food shopping, medicine or you’re a key worker, you should not be leaving your house. One trip outside for some exercise is allowed but you must be by yourself or with immediate family.

I find the expression ‘My Anxiety’ odd, I don’t really like to take ownership of the situation. Possibly because it’s only been in recent years, when the world has become more open to discussing mental health that i’ve recognised these worries as anxiety, perhaps my reluctance to call it ‘mine’ is part of a problem and maybe i’m in denial but I’m always of the opinion that I have periods of increased anxiety but it’s not a constant concern.

About two weeks ago, as the UK began to take more notice of the COVID-19 situation, as our numbers of cases increased and as we watched other countries go into lock down, I began to worry. I take the underground twice a day to work and I also get a bus. I work for a huge company where the office houses thousands of people on a daily basis and I have a family member with a respiratory condition, so my concern was mostly around catching the virus and passing it on.

As information on the Pandemic has become more frequent and as the situation has become more serious, my worries have increased too. Whilst one family member self-isolates, the other is a Nurse, training students how to handle the virus. At what point is she called to the front line and how, if she gets the virus, will it affect her?

I know there’s some excellent advice out there, I know influencers are doing their absolute best to provide entertainment and help people through the days and I know everyone is trying to give each other ideas to keep busy and stay positive but I hope those out there who experience anxiety are remembering that it is totally and completely ok to feel really overwhelmed at the moment. The world feels like it’s ending and there are people you care about who might be affected by the virus, we’re starting to fear being near anyone and despite the beautiful weather, you might be scared to go outside.

Since the Lockdown was initiated last night i’ve felt really anxious. I cried a bit because i’m worried about my family and today i’ve felt very flat and low. I don’t want to play music or watch comedy shows, I don’t want to talk about COVID-19 with my colleagues. I just want to sit and be.

I think it’s important to acknowledge these feelings, rather than distract yourself entirely and pretend they don’t exist. If all you can do today is get out of bed to make a cup of tea, then I think you should congratulate yourself on the effort.

This isn’t advice; i’ve never been to therapy, I’ve never spoken to a professional and I’ve never taken any particular measures to control something that I think i’m well aware of and able to manage. This morning I just found the patronising repetition of social media influencers advising me to to turn off the news and and organise my wardrobe tiresome. 

Don’t do anything if you don’t want to today, It’s ok.

Leave a Comment / Filled Under: Wellness

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Hey
I’m Apryl
Cultivating a peaceful life living in Hertfordshire and working in London,
Lover of aesthetically pleasing social media, neutral colours, reading, city breaks, beach trips, animals, day trips, nights in and other things that excite people who are nearly 30.

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Two books. Two poorly written reviews. CMBYN is a Two books. Two poorly written reviews.

CMBYN is a beautifully written account of 17 year old Elio falling in love with 24 year old Oliver during a summer in Italy at his (Elio’s) parents villa. I loved everything about this book; the intensity, the vulnerability, the intimacy, even the moments of discomfort. It was the escape I desperately needed from a devastating start to 2021. 

On Earth is a letter from a son to a mother, it moves from stories of his childhood to knowledge of his mother’s past in Vietnam, creating an explanation for the nuances and intricate details of their family’s life. Full disclosure; I probably didn’t appreciate the story as much as I could have, or should have. Perhaps I’d had too much purple prose by this point but it is a beautifully written and terribly sad story. A quote that has stuck with me;

‘The truth is we don’t have to die if we don’t feel like it.

Just kidding.’
What can be said in New Year rhymes, That's not be What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?

The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.

We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.

We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.

We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
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We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
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Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this account in a week or so and I had the sudden urge to update it today 🙃.
I rushed to finish An American Marriage today as my last book of the year, tomorrow I plan to write up my end of year round-up of books for my blog (which has been severely neglected for months). I’m really happy with the vast majority of books I’ve read this year and my aim next year is again, not to worry about quantity, but aim for quality.
Behind AAM are the beginning of my TBR pile for 2021, any there that you’ve read?
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Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is proba Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is probably cool and all but have you ever watched a pupper open presents? 
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Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and a Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and an eerily quiet but kind of magical city centre ❤️ everything was shut and it made my mum emotional, but I preferred it.
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Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Eve ❤️🎄
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