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The Sunday Story Dreams

April 19, 2020 | by thesundaystories

I take comfort in the fact that i’m not the only person in the world, or even down my street, who could describe last week as nondescript. Nothing particularly exciting happened to tell a story about and, as with everyone else, i’m taking each day is it comes and trying to control my emotions as best I can.

For a while I thought I was handling self-isolation very well. Homebodies across the world finally have the opportunity to indulge in their favourite things which all include staying home and I’m still not ready to lose the flexibility and comfort that comes with working from home full time. I feel guilty for feeling secretly a little pleased that lockdown has been extended for another three weeks and endlessly hopeful that when this is all over I’m able to continue this routine as much as possible.

My levels of anxiety have evened out, I’m not panicking as much and I assume this is down to the simple fact that I have gotten used to this way of life. My main concern is always my Mother, as she is the only one in the family still having to go out to work and, as she works in hospital, the threat of contracting Covid19 is a constant and consistent worry. That aside though, I feel calmer and, again, guilty for this.

The Coronavirus has begun seeping into my dreams, I find i’m waking up in wild relief that I haven’t accidentally snogged a stranger and contracted the virus – two rather tell-tale situations that don’t require much psychological dissection about my psyche.

I spend a lot of time day dreaming about another life where I’m able to offer financial comfort to my family and friends, where my parents are mortgage-free and I spend my days wandering around foreign cities, laying on beautiful beaches and feeling light as a feather. Some people don’t like to dream about such frivolities because it hurts when it doesn’t come true, but I think I dream so much in the hope that it will come true. I’ve heard they do, Gabrielle said so anyway.

It’s odd that I still get that familiar feeling of anxiety on a Sunday night before work the next day. I’ve had these feelings at various levels of intensity throughout my life, far worse during my school years but never completely free of them as an adult. I assumed it was because I loved the comfort of my home so much, so the fact that I still experience a mild sense of this panic could be, quite simply, down to habit. Perhaps it’s a hint I need to work harder to achieve the aforementioned dream. 

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Two books. Two poorly written reviews. CMBYN is a Two books. Two poorly written reviews.

CMBYN is a beautifully written account of 17 year old Elio falling in love with 24 year old Oliver during a summer in Italy at his (Elio’s) parents villa. I loved everything about this book; the intensity, the vulnerability, the intimacy, even the moments of discomfort. It was the escape I desperately needed from a devastating start to 2021. 

On Earth is a letter from a son to a mother, it moves from stories of his childhood to knowledge of his mother’s past in Vietnam, creating an explanation for the nuances and intricate details of their family’s life. Full disclosure; I probably didn’t appreciate the story as much as I could have, or should have. Perhaps I’d had too much purple prose by this point but it is a beautifully written and terribly sad story. A quote that has stuck with me;

‘The truth is we don’t have to die if we don’t feel like it.

Just kidding.’
What can be said in New Year rhymes, That's not be What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?

The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.

We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.

We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.

We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our brides, we sheet our dead.

We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that's the burden of the year.
-
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, “The Year” (1910)
Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this account in a week or so and I had the sudden urge to update it today 🙃.
I rushed to finish An American Marriage today as my last book of the year, tomorrow I plan to write up my end of year round-up of books for my blog (which has been severely neglected for months). I’m really happy with the vast majority of books I’ve read this year and my aim next year is again, not to worry about quantity, but aim for quality.
Behind AAM are the beginning of my TBR pile for 2021, any there that you’ve read?
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#booksandtea #anamericanmarriage #callmebyyourname #silversparrow #onearthwerebrieflygorgeous
Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is proba Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is probably cool and all but have you ever watched a pupper open presents? 
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#christmas #christmasday #christmaspresents #jackrussell #jackrussellterrier #jrt #jackrussellsofinstagram #dogsofinstagram #doggo #christmasdogsofinstagram #pupperdoggo #pupper
Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and a Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and an eerily quiet but kind of magical city centre ❤️ everything was shut and it made my mum emotional, but I preferred it.
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#christmasinlondon #christmaslights #christmas #christmas2020 #londonlife #london #londoncity #christmasdecor #festivevibes #festiveseason
Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Eve ❤️🎄
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#christmas #christmaseve #christmas2020 #christmastree #christmastablesetting #christmastable #christmasdecor #quietchristmas #festive #festivevibes #tbt #blogger #cosy #cosyhome #cosystyle

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