The Sunday Stories

Lifestyle. Home. Wellness. Career

  • Lifestyle
    • Life & Home
    • Travel & Adventures
    • Health & Wellness
    • Career & Finance
  • Creative
    • Books & Film
    • Music
    • Short Stories
  • Get in touch

Teaching: How Coronavirus Gave Me Clarity

March 27, 2020 | by Albie

If there’s one thing that this pandemic has taught me, it’s this: I love my job.

Rewind back to 2010; I was an awkward teenager who struggled with feeling as though I belonged to any friendship group, constantly seeking people’s approval and I felt like a failure, always needing reassurance. I decided that I wanted to become a doctor. Just writing that line makes me cringe. The reason why I cringe is not because I think being a doctor is a negative thing, because I admire all the health services and am extremely grateful to them (especially right now)  but the truth of the matter is that the decision was never my own; Daddy issues had planted that one in my head. I was told that I would be of worth if I pursued a career in Medicine (FYI now that I have grown up, I’ve realised that my dad has no concept of feeling and he really had no idea that  could ever actually affect me. He isn’t deliberately cruel).  

After taking Chemistry and Biology and flunking them both pretty badly, I sat at the sixth form computers trying not to cry as I filled out my UCAS application, knowing that I would never be able to achieve grades AAB in those subjects. Feeling like I had failed, my head of sixth form – always one who loved to help – asked me to forget what job I thought I should do and asked what I loved to do. I replied instantly, ‘read and write’ but course could I do with that? I remember him laughing and saying ‘English Literature!’. All at once it became extremely obvious and I don’t think he’ll ever realise how thankful I am for him helping me that day. 

Fast forward to 2013, and I happily graduated with a English Literature and Creative Writing BA Hons. Leaving made me realise that my dream job and what I felt like I would be one day was an Author, however, at the time funding for a masters degree was not available, I found that I needed to find a job whilst I wrote – as a naive 21 year old, I believed that writing a book would only take a year.

I decided to Teach. Having struggled for years with my own sense of self-worth, rather than take my own advice, I thought would focus on making sure others never felt the way I did. I decided on teaching the Primary years, definitely not Secondary. I find that my anxiety primarily around people and the idea of talking to people aged 15 years and over scared the life out of me – working with adults was hard enough. Besides, when I was younger, most of my make-believe games would centre around teaching and making my poor younger brother and sister sit through countless registers and lessons, so I thought being such a people-pleaser would help me thrive at this job. 

Many people seem to think that teaching is an easy job where you turn up at 9am and leave at half 3. I won’t bore you with the realities of a Teacher’s life, everyone has their own opinions – I know that every job has their stresses in many different ways and this is something I have learnt over the past 6 years after having non-serious arguments with my husband as we bicker about who is more tired or stressed from their day, but my reality and my own opinion is that teaching is hard. 

Teaching is overwhelming. It is constant. Stressful. A juggling act. I am an encyclopaedia for everything. I am not just a teacher, I am a dentist, a nutritionist, a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a comfort, an outlet for children to shout at, an artist, a mathematician, a historian, a disciplinarian, a family member. The list could go on, but it is also magical, fulfilling  fun, imaginative, childish, lovable, challenging, eye opening and wonderful .

I was officially diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression this year and in that time, I realised my job had been taking over my life for a number of years, the anxiety I felt had created this increasing negativity over my job.Now I am coping better with the fact that I know I never leave work at the door; I worry constantly that my children, the parents and my colleagues will think things of me that I have no control over and I recognise that most of the time, anxiety has cause cause me to make these things up in my head. 

I think I have moaned most days about my job – not the children or the actual teaching – but the parts you are never told whilst training. I have sat and pondered what other jobs I could do to get out of this stressful environment and cried when my children have disclosed something awful to me or a parent has doubted me and made me feel so small, but on the day – Wednesday 18th March – when the schools were told to close for the indefinite future during the pandemic crisis, I cried. 

I cried hard. I hadn’t been able to cry for a month since I had started taking anti depressants and it was like a plug had been taken out. My job meant a lot more to me than I realised. 

It’s a been a week now in isolation and the one thing I have realised is that I am so grateful to have my job as a teacher. I’m not saying I will never moan again as that just wouldn’t be English (or human) but this time away has really put into perspective what’s important to me and through the highs and lows, how much I love my job. 

Leave a Comment / Filled Under: Career

Related Posts

My Work-from-home Routine
I’m So Busy, & Other Lies
How I stay Organised at Work
Next Post:
30 Minute Full Body Kettlebell Workout
Previous Post:
The Social Distancing Diaries – Day 10

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Hey
I’m Apryl
Cultivating a peaceful life living in Hertfordshire and working in London,
Lover of aesthetically pleasing social media, neutral colours, reading, city breaks, beach trips, animals, day trips, nights in and other things that excite people who are nearly 30.

  • Bloglovin
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Mood Board

Archives

Playlist – Festive

Goodreads

Goodreads

#TheLovelyBooks

#TheLovelyBooks
Two books. Two poorly written reviews. CMBYN is a Two books. Two poorly written reviews.

CMBYN is a beautifully written account of 17 year old Elio falling in love with 24 year old Oliver during a summer in Italy at his (Elio’s) parents villa. I loved everything about this book; the intensity, the vulnerability, the intimacy, even the moments of discomfort. It was the escape I desperately needed from a devastating start to 2021. 

On Earth is a letter from a son to a mother, it moves from stories of his childhood to knowledge of his mother’s past in Vietnam, creating an explanation for the nuances and intricate details of their family’s life. Full disclosure; I probably didn’t appreciate the story as much as I could have, or should have. Perhaps I’d had too much purple prose by this point but it is a beautifully written and terribly sad story. A quote that has stuck with me;

‘The truth is we don’t have to die if we don’t feel like it.

Just kidding.’
What can be said in New Year rhymes, That's not be What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?

The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.

We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.

We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.

We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our brides, we sheet our dead.

We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that's the burden of the year.
-
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, “The Year” (1910)
Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this Sorry for the spam today, I haven’t touched this account in a week or so and I had the sudden urge to update it today 🙃.
I rushed to finish An American Marriage today as my last book of the year, tomorrow I plan to write up my end of year round-up of books for my blog (which has been severely neglected for months). I’m really happy with the vast majority of books I’ve read this year and my aim next year is again, not to worry about quantity, but aim for quality.
Behind AAM are the beginning of my TBR pile for 2021, any there that you’ve read?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#kindle #kindlebooks #bookblogger #bookblog #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #blog #blogger #aquietmoment #livelifebeautifully #momentsofmine #aestheticbooks #inspiremyinstagram #showusyourhygge #ofsimplethings #bookishflatlay #dailydoseofcalm #cosymoments #myquietlife 
#booksandtea #anamericanmarriage #callmebyyourname #silversparrow #onearthwerebrieflygorgeous
Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is proba Yeah experiencing Christmas with children is probably cool and all but have you ever watched a pupper open presents? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#christmas #christmasday #christmaspresents #jackrussell #jackrussellterrier #jrt #jackrussellsofinstagram #dogsofinstagram #doggo #christmasdogsofinstagram #pupperdoggo #pupper
Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and a Another throwback to 2 days before Christmas and an eerily quiet but kind of magical city centre ❤️ everything was shut and it made my mum emotional, but I preferred it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#christmasinlondon #christmaslights #christmas #christmas2020 #londonlife #london #londoncity #christmasdecor #festivevibes #festiveseason
Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Throwback to a quiet Christmas table on Christmas Eve ❤️🎄
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#christmas #christmaseve #christmas2020 #christmastree #christmastablesetting #christmastable #christmasdecor #quietchristmas #festive #festivevibes #tbt #blogger #cosy #cosyhome #cosystyle

Copyright © 2021 The Sunday Stories

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok